Monday, September 30, 2002

What exactly do they sell at an exotic pet store. Kind of sounds a little perverse to me. It reminds me of a Saturday Night Live skit with Patrick Stewart in which he works at an erotic cake store. Just trust me, it's a good one.

  Wednesday, September 25, 2002

I threw my shoe at Matt Brandt today; both of them actually. Weever thought that I was aiming at him so he took one of my shoes, and for an extended period of time. I had a meeting with one of my proffesors with only one shoe. One of my group members asked me why I only had one shoe and I said, "Somebody took my shoe, you know how it is." He just looked at me.

  Tuesday, September 24, 2002

I went to Wal-Mart with Koch today. While walking to the check out lane a small boy ran out of one of the isles and slid feet first across the lane. I laughed quite noticable which of course encouraged the kid to do much more of the same. He made a point to continue his behavior near us and Koch gave me the bright idea of buying the kid a candy bar; after all kids like candy, especially hyper ones. I bought a Snickers and when I finally found the kid again I pulled off this amazing display of Rory:

Hey kid! I bought you a candy bar. Don't tell anybody.

You really understand what went wrong if you read it in a whisper. Intelligently enough the boy shook his head no and smacked the candy bar out of my hands. He also made it a point to run up to me and push me just for the hell of it while I was walking out the store. I probably deserved it, but I think his mom saw me get pushed and the boy probably got spanked or something. I sort of feel bad now.

  Saturday, September 21, 2002

I've been here for about three weeks now. I was walking to class and I was going down the sidewalk between Olin and Templeton. For the first time, I noticed that Templeton wasn't there? This just goes to show how together I've been for the past month.

  Thursday, September 19, 2002

Odle notified me of a thetruth.com commercial they were doing in the area. I hate those damn commercials; they make me want to smoke just cause those people are jerks. But, they were paying $125 just to volunteer, more if you get a part, so we went down there to reap the rewards of the government's anti-tobacco legislation.

  Tuesday, September 17, 2002

For a good idea of how I felt last night, click here.

  Saturday, September 07, 2002

Next time we have girls over at the house I may try to give them the Ryan Willby Tour of Honor. What is the "Ryan Willby Tour of Honor", you ask? It goes like this:

Here is our house; over here is my room. That is my bed, now finish your beer.

This moment of Willby is brought to you by the Pi Kappa Alpha Foam Party. The foam party is tonight and of course I will spend the time perusing the area continuously for six hours making sure nothing gets out of hand. I am good at my job. Furthermore, I find this to be an oppurtunity to test my "no bitches" policy for the year. The term 'bitches' does not refer to all women, it is used specifically to refer to those women who drain me of my normal character by forcing me to infatuate myself with them. I thought I would clear that up just in case you were a woman reading this and may have been offended.

  Friday, September 06, 2002

How come fun sized candy bars are only about an inch and a half long. If the were really 'fun' they would be like two feet.

  Thursday, September 05, 2002

I just got back from Jimmy John's with Mutak and Christensen. They must have been doing some photo shoot for ISU or something, because they had about twenty girls dressed in cheerleading uniforms outside of the joint. We obviously stayed there to eat. I offered Christensen five bucks to stand pressed against the window with his jaw and/or pants hanging down. He didn't take it, but we did joke about the incedent quite a bit. Some old dude was standing inside the whole time doing nothing but stare out the window, and some random guy who passed us on the street thought it worthwhile to say, "Can't beat that."