Wednesday, June 30, 2004

The winner of the best goodbye award goes to my neighbor Elizabeth Stier who will wake up to find this note on her car windshield:

I moved to California this morning. I wanted to say bye in person, but didn't have time. Good luck with stuff. I'll try to keep in touch. Talk to you later.

I'm out like a Parkinson's sufferer in a sitting still contest.

  Saturday, June 26, 2004

Perenic once told me that music was really awesome cause you could always find something to match any situation. I was doing a little music bookkeeping and this is what I have that I currently relate to:

Cat Stevens - Here Come's My Baby
Dazy Head Mazy - I'll Never Forget
Herman's Hermits - Mrs. Brown You Have a Lovely Daughter
Jude - King of Yesterday
Mason Jennings - California
Ryan Adams - To be Young
The Band - The Weight

I have a lot more that were kind of describing some of the things I feel right now, but I wanted to mention these ones cause they aren't as popular and I thought you people would enjoy checking them out.

  Wednesday, June 23, 2004

If you go to an amusement park and your favorite ride was the bathroom, you probably didn't have that great of a time.

  Monday, June 21, 2004

While searching for song lyrics I found the following here. I thought it was pretty good. I'm transcribing it instead of just linking to it because I think it will get me more hits.

The Ten Commandments of the College Student

The Student was searching for divine inspiration. As The Student walked high on the mountain of knowledge he came across God. The Student asked God how to live life as a college kid should. And God said unto him, "follow these Ten Commandments and you shall be all a college kid is." The Student was pleased, and thanked God and left to spread the word of these sacred commandments to all, and it was good.

I- Thou Shalt Nap
And God gave unto The Student a great gift; the gift of napping. God said to him, "You shall spend half your day napping. You shall nap in class, in your room and in your friend’s room." God then said, "if you don’t nap, you will not be able to stay up all night drinking." So Student said, "nap I shall," and it was good.

II- Thou Shalt Get Sick All the Time
Now God said to Student, "you must be sick all of the time. And The Student asked why. And God said unto him, "you shall share drinks, stay up too late, drink too much and make out with people you don’t know." "Therefore," God said, "you shall be sick all year round." The Student grew worried. But God then said, "blessed are the sick for they have partied the hardest." And it was good.

III- Thou Shalt Write Witty Away Messages
The Student asked, "but God, how will I show everyone that I am funny?" And God said unto him, "thou shalt write witty away messages. You shall never just say you are in the shower, you shall say you are getting wet and wild…in the shower. You shall never say you are at class, you shall say you are sleeping…in class." God said, "if you do not write witty away messages, I shall smite you. Blessed are the funny, for they will get many girls to be their friends but never hook up with them." And it was good.

IV- Thou Shalt Wear a Hoodie
And then Student asked God, God how do I look like a college kid? And God said unto student, you must wear a hoodie, for it is a useful garment. And you shall never wash it either. Student asked God what kind of Hoodie should it be and God said, you shall own one with your school’s logo on it and you shall own many others of varying colors and creeds. And Student was pleased and God was pleased.

V- Thou Shalt Shit a Lot
And Student asked of his bathroom habit and God told him, Student, you shall eat in the Cafeteria and you shall shit a lot. And it will not be good shit, it will be the shit of the devil for your ass shall burn for hours. Your school shall put laxatives in their food and you shall feel their pain. And Student began to weep, and God said unto him, Student, fear not, for Wet Naps will ease all your pains. And Student dried his eyes and thanked God......and it was good.

VI- Thou Shalt Eat EasyMac
Student asked unto God if there was any alternatives to the cafeteria, and God said to him, you shall eat a lot of EasyMac. It is easy to make and you don’t need milk or a stove. And student said microwaves were forbidden by the RA. And God said to him, you shall hide the microwave under your bed with a towel on top. And Student asked, what if it is discovered. And God told him to stop being such a pussy, and it was good.

VII- Thou Shalt Drink
Student then asked of alcohol. God said, Student, drinking while under the legal age is wrong...unless you are in college. You shall seek out for thyself a fake ID and use this card to purchase massive amounts of cheap beer. You shall collect the cans and bottle tops, for he with the most has partied the hardest...and has paid for it with lots of vomiting and drunken sex. Drink Student, whether it be with friends, in bed, in the bathroom or in a classroom. And the Student said 'Drink I shall'...and it was good.

VIII- Thou Shalt Join a Club and Never Go to Meetings
Student inquired of his spare time and God reminded him that he should be napping. But Student said he wanted to do other things. So God said unto him, you shall join a club at the beginning of the semester, but then never go to meetings. And Student asked why he should not go to meetings, and God told him, because the glee club is gay. And Student understood His wisdom...and it was good.

IX- Thou Shalt Wake Up Confused
God said to Student, there will come many a day when you shall wake up in the bed of another and not know where you are. You will not remember what you did last night and you shall be confused. You will see that you have nipple rings and a tattoo now and are covered with Sharpie. And Student was disturbed by this, but God said, you shall tell great stories about this to your friends someday. And Student understood and God took a sip of a beer. And it was good.

And God gave Student the final Commandment

X- Thou Shalt Gain Weight
And Student wished to hear the final commandment and God said he would not like it. But Student insisted, so God said unto him, you shall gain weight. However, God said, you will not buy new clothes, so you will wear sweat pants a lot. God said, Student, you will watch a lot of TV and become fat to which Student wept profusely. But God comforted Student saying, you will still get ass even if you cannot tie your shoes anymore. Student felt better and God pointed to Student’s chest saying, those will soon be bitch tits. And it was good.

I'm particularly fond of 3 and 8.

  Sunday, June 13, 2004

I'm not quite sure what to make of this email I got:

Subject: DUDE, YOU ARE A KING AMOUNG MEN!

hahaha my name is Rory too, even though there are tons of Rory's out there, most are chicks, but based on what i've seen of your page, you know what it is like to be a Rory.

The sex with random hot chicks, the drunken parties, what it means to be rory!!

dude, do you have msn?
add me *****@*******.***

also, i'm on the web at www.RoryCo.com
there isn't much content there though

I'm pretty sure it's some sort of advanced spam considering there was no discernible information on the website, and the email address it was from had no intuitive information in it and also didn't match the email he gave me, nor was in the domain of his website.

If you're real you better comment or something dude, and I definitely know all about the getting drunk and have lots of sex. That's definitely my thing, right up my ally. I'm really good with the sex and... stuff.

  Tuesday, June 08, 2004

What makes you smile?