Monday, February 27, 2006

Previously I said that I have 58 blog posts in progress. That’s true. They may not all be as evolved as the rest but in some capacity I have 58 distinctly separate stories, or observations, or clownish spiel, whatever. On average, I’m about three months behind on posts. Or maybe it’d be better to say there is a three month drag on posting. Or since I drafted this one three months ago, maybe its now six months on average, who knows.

There are a couple reasons for this; one is a lack of inspiration. I’m working on that. But primarily I’m guilty of trying to keep a long term plot line. The last year has been pretty weak; I tried to illustrate that in my last post. It’s getting better, but I feel the need to chug out all these unmoving, blasé, thought consuming stories that paint a picture of how pathetic I’ve been.

At the same time, interesting things are happening, but I can’t disrupt the flow. So I concern myself with being a total loaf so that I can finish writing about it. Just how do I illustrate how limp I’ve been with the reverie I’m capable of? I write about being a human fart. Not unexpectedly, the story is gas. I revise and edit thousands of times over. How do I make doing nothing interesting? Is it even possible? This consumes me until I’ve gone another three months without doing anything. It’s a viscous cycle man.

I’m publishing this, not to make excuses or justify this blog. I feel that if I say this out in the open I might be more inclined to push some of these out there. 58 posts! Maybe then I can break free. So I’m going to write! Not everything will be funny, but if I’m trying to be it will. Not everything will be timely, but if it’s not, it will be well worth it. I’ll take the time to write about a major life event, regardless of whether or not it keeps the chronological order of my message. And I will not sacrifice living life, being awesome, or turn down a challenge to write for this blog.

  Saturday, February 25, 2006

Last weekend marked the one year point for time spent in this new life. Here are the statistical accomplishments of the past 12 months:

2     Haircuts
5     Books read
11    CDs purchased
72    Saved yogurt lids
606   Downloaded songs
9588  Cell phone minutes used
13881 Miles put on car
0     New state drivers' licenses
3     Trips home
8     Trips anywhere
5     States visited
1     Canadian Provinces
3     Weddings attended
0     Dates
1     Girls asked out
1     Times rejected
191   Unread 'dating tips' newsletters
126   Sent personal emails
9133  Unsolicited commercial emails
28992 Megabytes of computer games
1     Faces lit on fire
4     Pus filled abscesses
7     Sick days used
1878  Hours at Work
173   Hours working
365   Times I've gotten bored with friends and played video games
8     Potentially illegitimate children
3     Consecutively made up entries on this list
29    Posts to this blog
58    In work blog posts
0     People met here that I will keep in touch with when I'm gone

"Do not put your faith in what statistics say until you have carefully considered what they do not say." ~William W. Watt