Thursday, May 10, 2007

This story is part of the roommate story countdown.

It was requested of me that I pay my rent in cash so that a certain roommate could avoid suspicion of him receiving what is a regular taxable source of income. This is a bitch: carrying around that much money is not something I'm psyched to do. I expressed as much my third month living there, but with no change to the policy I resolved that the only proper way to express my dissatisfaction was to pay my rent entirely in one dollar bills.


Straight cash holmes! That took me a few years to save, but before getting rid of it, it'd only be right to play with it. I took a bunch of pictures, like this one of me thumbing through a hundred bills just to make sure its real.


Here's one of it just piled neatly.


The next one's my favorite: money-angels.


Of course, a shot of my money in a briefcase. It's hard to find briefcases built to dimensions that money fits nicely in.


And me taking the money from the briefcase and stuffing it into a backpack, because the Feds are on me, and I need to take what I can and run.


You may not be able to tell, but I doctored the last picture slightly. Going with that, I wanted to see what my money looked like piled on a bigger stack of money.


As a new building in Dubai.


Standing up to the tanks in Tiananmen Square


Or Arnold Schwarzenegger cutting a guys arm off in the movie "Commando," presumably because he wants my money.


Alright, I'm cheating. I didn't even do anything to that last picture. Here's me swimming in the money; I'm just mailing it in at this point.


As far as rent, let's just say that a paper bag of ones wasn't recieved well as payment. I'm still anticipating the reaction when he realizes that this is about 1.5 times the normal amount.